Goodbye!

I've decided that it's time for askrawknee.blogspot.com to come to an end. This may be temporary, but I can't make any promises at this point.

To my dedicated fans, I am truly sorry that my heart has not been in this blog for quite some time.

Between living in Montreal, being in a committed relationship and actively searching for more serious work as a writer, I feel I can't write about the Ottawa sex scene. I have not the time nor motivation.

If you are seeking advice, you can still email me via ask.raw.knee@blogspot.com and your questions will appear, with answers, in Veronica's Closet and/or my Examiner.com page - depending on the nature of your question.

I have a new blog with my roommate, Elli, all about vegan and vegetarian cooking and our veg lifestyle in Montreal: Two girls, a cat & no oven.

For updates from all my blogs and columns, become a fan of me on Facebook.

As for what's going on in Ottawa, Apartment613 is always here for you.

Thank you very much for your loyal readership. I hope you continue to follow my work. Don't be shy to drop me a line anytime!

Wishing you the best in the new decade,
Veronica Michelle

Zombie Sex (long lost q+a)

Dear Veronica,
I am a heterosexual 32 year old female who has been happily married to my 38 year old husband for over 3 years. We've always had a satisfying sex life together but lately I've been bothered by a certain unfulfilled fantasy I've had for a long time. You see, Verotika, ever since I became sexually active as a teenager, I've had this overwhelming urge to re-enact a zombie scene in bed with my lover- make up and all, ripping chunks of flesh from each others hot bodies and then making love to him as he lies limp, pretending to be dead. The only problem, Verotika, is that I'm worried my husband, being a devout christian, may not be as turned on by this fantasy as I am. How do I go about bringing this up to him?
Thank You,
-Anonymous

You know what's coming up? My favorite holiday, Hallowe'en!! Usually Hallowe'en is an excuse to dress super slutty in public with little to no repricussions . This year, why not use it as a clever way to indulge your fantasy? Suggest to your husband that you both dress as zombies. Use liquid latex as fake skin, shredded clothes, fake blood, the whole 9. Once you get home from whatever your Hallowe'en celebrations might be, instigate sex. Be dominant, get on top.
The liquid latex "skin" should be fun to peel off at this point. At a later date, tell him how amazing the zombie sex was. (assuming it was) Perhaps now, as he's already pretty much gone through with it, he'll be willing to do it again for you. Good luck, you kinky freak.

The Blowjob Manifesto: part 4

Gentlemen,

You're not being coy when you slowly and slyly put your penis close to a woman's face.

We know what you want and if we really wanted to do it we would go for it, no matter where your penis is.

Just sayin'. This tactic does work a lot of the time, I know - but would it work for women, too?

I think I'm going to see how nonchalantly I can put my vagina near someone's face the next time I want someone to go down on me.

I'll let you know how it works.

Electric Six's new NSFW video

Electric Six "Body Shot" (2009) - NSFW 18+ from Another Reybee Productions, Inc. on Vimeo.

Montréal Burlesque Festival

Last weekend, 5 of the Rockalily Burlesque dancers and myself ventured to Montréal for the First Annual Montréal International Burlesque Festival.

We performed a brand-new group routine (that will be seen in Ottawa at some point, we promise!) on Thursday Sept 17th as part of first show of the festival. After that we were free to enjoy the spectacle!

The weekend was a whirlwind of glitter, pasties, champagne, feathers and friendly faces.

Here's a little taste of our adventure


Koston Kreme and Jezabelle Jaymes have found a giant twister board!



Our performance at Concordia




Scarlett James

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

Did anyone notice that I changed the name of my blog again?

It's long overdue that I make this announcement:

After spending most of my life, including my entire adult life thus far, in Ottawa, I have decided that it's time I try on a new city. On November 6th, 2009, I will be packing up and moving to Montreal.

I can't really blog about smut in the Capital city when I'm not there, can I?

To those of you who call yourselves my fans, thanks for your readership and loyalty! I'm not abandoning you entirely; Veronica's Closet, my column in Upfront Magazine, will continue to run as a Q+A column. Unfortunately, I will no longer be a voice for the Ottawa scene - but I'll still be helpful and witty... as much as I ever was, anyway.

This blog will also live on, with a bit of a new style. The posts will be more universal and I hope to write more personally.

I have big plans for Montreal and you can expect at least one or two posts on my grand adventures in what once was Canada's largest city and is now a mecca of kink, fetish, art and hedonism. (I think I'll fit right in!)

Oh, and just so you all know. I'll be back in Ottawa before you know it! The plan is to spend a year in la belle Province.

Those of you Ottawans who know or recognize me can see me in my usual hangouts for the next 2 months before I go. Come say hi! I don't bite... and for those of you who are Rockalily fans - just wait 'till you see what I've been working on for October 30th. Save the date! My last confirmed show with the burlesque ladies is going to be epic!

XOXO

RawKnee

Coffee Politics

I'm used to hearing about the politics of coffee regarding the treatment and wages of the growers; the economics and unfairly high profit margins; and even the poor little teenagers who work in chain coffee shops as their first job, not knowing their rights, being treated like shit and subjected to constant 1st degree burns (sometimes worse!) ... but, the sexual politics of coffee. No way!

Well, folks, it seems that since opening up shop in the states, the Canadian capitalist coffee giant, Tim Hortons, has made a few enemies, at least among LGBTQ communities along the American North-East coast.

Tim Hortons has recently agreed to sponsor a rally in Rhode Island hosted by the National Organization for Marriage. NOM is leading campaigns to take away the right to same-sex civil union in several states.

What's up, Tim Hortons? Why are you doing this? Do you think queers don't drink coffee, or that homophobes are better for business?

You can read more about it at change.org

Make sure you sign the petition.

EDIT: Tim Hortons has withdrawn sponsorship and issued an apology

A Question of Gender

Posted by request, as the current issue of UpFront Magazine, containing Veronica's Closet, is unavailable online. The following is an excerpt from the July edition of Veronica's Closet:


I recently watched a documentary called "Trantasia". It's the story of the world's first "most beautiful transsexual" pageant, complete with the bios and life stories of the contestants. I was very happy to see that a documentary on transwomen existed that portrayed them in a positive, non-pornographic light. Fighting transphobia and raising awareness about trans rights is one of my pet issues, but it hasn't always been. Years ago I used to attend a LGBT youth support and discussion group with one of my best friends, who is a lesbian. This is where both of us had our first encounter with a transwoman. My friend, who is still one of my best friends to this day, reminded me of this while we were watching Trantasia. The first transperson whom I had ever met left a bad taste in my mouth. She seemed to have the attitude that if she wasn't a bitch to everyone she wasn't going to get through life. It truly makes me sad that she felt this way, but I can't blame her. Because of her negativity, most of the rest of the group of queer youths would call her names behind her back. This negative first impression left me with a bad attitude towards transpeople. It took a few years for me to pull my head out of my ass and get over it, but now I'm very happy to be able to call myself a trans ally and count a few transpeople as my friends. I was pleased to see a question in my inbox this month that fit right into the issue of transphobia, I hope I've been able to help with my response.

What's the right way to refer to someone who has had a sex change or even someone who is pre-op. He, She, He-she?

This question makes me both happy and sad - happy that you've thought to ask, but sad, as it's a reminder of how many people are ignorant of transpeople and treat them as lesser beings. Etiquette within and between various alternative communities is very important and often overlooked by the average and vanilla. "Trans" is a very broad term, used to define people who are transitioning from one gender to another, have transitioned, living in the androgynous middle and everything in between. Although the polite thing to do when you're unsure of someone's gender status is to ask what pronoun they prefer, please take into consideration whether it's any of your business. Do you have a professional relationship? Are they a stranger? Is this person's gender status going to have any effect on your relationship with them? Then no, it's none of your business - don't ask! If you must refer to them in third person use "they", "them" or their name. Is it a close friend who's making a major lifestyle change? Are they a friend or family member's new lover? Is it someone who you are interested in becoming friends with? Then by all means, ask them if the information is not readily offered. Asking will not only show that you care, but that you are accepting of a lifestyle that is heavily misunderstood and disrespected. You will likely be asked to use "he" or "she" but some people prefer gender neutral pronouns like "ze". Another situation where the issue of pronouns may arise is with drag queens and cross dressers. Men, gay or straight, who live as men but moonlight as women (either as performers, fetishists or simply out of curiosity) are not transpeople. Same as women who live as females but dress up like men; However, when a crossdresser is in character - more often than not, they would prefer to be referred to as however they are portraying themselves. ie: a man wearing lipstick and a dress would probably prefer to be called she, and a woman wearing a pants suit and moustache would probably like to be called he. One last thing - You may need to know someone's gender status so you know how to address them, but their sexual orientation is none of your business - and that goes for everyone.

Sex Toys are so Metal

Sorry for the lack of posts this past year or so, I've been extremely busy between Rockalily, Upfront, YWTF and all the other little projects. The 2nd annual No Pants Dance Party was a success! Thanks to Hush Money and The New Impressions of 2 FANS for warming up the crowd. We raised almost $100 for each the AIDS Committee of Ottawa and the Ottawa Humane Society! Thanks for all your support, Ottawa! And a super-big thanks to everyone who comes in from out of town to see our shows. Rockalily loves you all!

Today I thought of a tidbit about metal toys that I thought I should pass on.

Although they are a little pricey, steel, aluminum and titanium sex toys make a great addition to your naughty drawer. Like glass toys they are non-porous, easy to clean and can easily be heated or cooled to your liking. Unlike glass, they are unbreakable!

Titanium is going to be the most expensive, but is the lightest of the three metals.

Aluminum is your middle ground. A good metal, not too heavy but enough weight that you feel it.

Steel is very heavy - of the three metals most commonly used in sex toys this is the one that is most likely to cause damage. Extra care should be taken when using steel toys, especially butt plugs, as the weight is being held by your sphincter - something you do NOT want to damage.

Just something to keep in mind when shopping for metal toys!

Sometimes I write just for the hell of it.

Atop the fence she sat; A temporary feeling of invincibility running through her veins. The outdoor speakers from the dive bar blasting a familiar song. She takes a draw off of her cigarette in between breathlessly muttered lyrics. A quick scan of her surroundings brought her to the realization that she was not the only one singing along under her breath. Is this what they call a "moment"?

She considered throwing herself backwards off of the fence. Just high enough to hurt, not high enough to injure. Maybe her skull would crack if she pushed off with enough force. Maybe they would need to call an ambulance. Maybe someone would notice her, for once.

"I feel so alone right now" She thought to herself, snapping out of whatever daze she was in.

Her friends, assuming she could call them that, were still singing along to the soundtrack of the night. A cold tear streamed down her cheek, or was it raining? She couldn't tell sometimes. One of her friends offered to fill her glass back up.

Countless beers and innumerable morbid thoughts later she decided it best to leave her car in the parking lot and stay the night at a friend's place down the street.

A group of them arrived in the shared townhouse. The one with red walls that extracted the deepest, darkest feelings out of those who stood between them.

It was raining again, inside, selectively located on her face. Or was she crying? Upset about what was being left behind. Damn those red walls.

Everyone else had retired to bed, to fuck their lover, to sleep the drunk off, to create something beautiful that may never be understood; Everyone except him. He sat with her while she cried, he held her and told her she was beautiful. He asked her to get another beer out of the fridge for them to share.

While reaching in to the fridge he crept up from behind and pulled her panties down from underneath her dress. The blue and red panties that were her favourite. The ones that, up until this night, she had considered lucky.

It's okay, she thought. They were friends, he was drunk. "It's okay", she told herself over and over again.

Maybe someday she'll convince herself.

Masturbation Gone Green!

Finalement!

We have recycling programs for grocery bags, batteries, paint, cell phones and most anything imaginable. With a little motivation one can find recycling depots for just about everything... but what to do with those old sex toys?

Now there's a recycling program for those too! Simply ship your toys to:

Dreamscapes Recycling Program
5450 Bruce B Downs Blvd #366
Wesley Chapel, FL 33544

Once received, your no longer loved toys are dismantled and it's parts are sent to the appropriate recycling plants. They even recycle batteries!

Include your email address with your package to receive a $10 gift card for one of Dreamscape's affiliate retailers.

For complete info, please visit Dreamspaces Recycling Program's website

They say that the colour green makes you horny... could "going green" have the same effect?

Female Sex Survey

Does anyone else get offended when they read statistics about what women want in bed or how they view sex?

The Ottawa Sun is running a week-long special series looking into the sex lives of women and if Monday's article was any indication the entire series is going to be biased, vanilla and heavily edited to exclude anything actually worth reading.

The aggregate data in their statistic charts shows that the largest percentage of women interviewed stated "I don't know" or refused to answer the questions asked. Not all women are comfortable discussing their sex lives with a market research agency. In fact, most aren't. I make my living talking about sex and I still don't think I'd feel comfortable discussing the intricacies of my sex life with a stranger.

Nowhere does it state the age demographic targeted. It's really easy to skew data polls by making the informed decision to exclude or focus more strongly on certain age groups.

We're supposed to trust this data as an accurate and innovative new view on the sex lives of hetero females? I don't think so.

Why can't we have proper representation in the media when it comes to sex? Women seem to be portrayed as either promiscuous and liberal (ie. Sex and the City) or prudish and indecisive (ie. The Ottawa Sun's current week-long series on women and sex).

Sure, there are extremes, but what about those of us in the middle? I truly believe that in a more comfortable setting many of the women who said they "with their partner would be better skilled" would admit things more along the lines of "I wish he'd let me peg him" or "My favorite position? facefucking." Enjoying a little deviancy does not make you slut or a heathen. By refusing to even acknowledge any sexually deviant or homosexual activity in their articles on the sex lives of women the Ottawa Sun is perpetuating the shame and negativity that so many women feel about their sexual preferences.

Just because you read it in the newspaper, or magazine, or my blog, DOES NOT MAKE IT CONCRETE.

Everyone is different and everyone deserves to be embraced for who they are, not overlooked or shamed for straying from "the norm".

Sorry to be so editorial, but I get very angry when a journalist decides that it's a good idea for them to write about sex. They almost always say something offensive or misogynistic and they often come across as uninformed. Do your research. I've spend years studying sex, sexuality, health, BDSM lifestyles and the psychology of sexuality and I wouldn't dare try to write an article on the definitive sexual desires of women. I wonder what the writer of this article's credentials are? J-school?

Got beef with the portrayal of women's sexuality in the media? Leave a rant in the comments or send your own editorial to the Ottawa Sun via ottsun.feedback@sunmedia.com .

This Saturday at Babylon: ONE NIGHT STAND

March 7th, 2009: One Night Stand, Rockalily Burlesque's second headlining show will be rocking Babylon Nightclub like only Rockalily can.

This time we've got special musical guests, Ninety Pounds of Ugly and DJ Eric Roberts.
over a dozen local artists and artisans will be exhibiting and selling their works while artists from Pirate City show off their skills with a tattoo machine on some human canvas. To top it all off we've got door prizes from our sponsors and a raffle to benefit the Ottawa SPCA featuring several luxurious prizes!

Don't miss out! Advance Tickets are $12 at both Compact Music locations, all 3 Classixxx locations, End Hits and Pirate City. Cover is $15 at the door.

See you there!

Dave sent me this.

Tragedy for Local Sex Shoppe Owner

Around 3am on February 6th the strip mall next to the Brittania Pub, on Richmond road was set ablaze. The strip mall was gutted by fire. Included in the wreckage was locally owned and operated, Wicked Wanda's Adult Emporium.

Two local residents have been charged with 5 counts of arson in relation to the Richmond Road fire that destroyed 4 other business as well as WW.

Wanda, the proprietor of Wicked Wanda's, was in London, Ontario at the time of the fire performing with the London edition of Sexapalooza. Wicked Wanda's Adult Emporium was a labour of love. Wanda thrived on educating the public on sexuality and offers workshops on various types of BDSM play and body discovery.

An Unofficial statement from a WW employee say "We will regroup and rebuild".

A fund has been started to help Wanda get back on her feet while the insurance dicks take their time figuring out how little they can pay out. If you are interested in donating please email me and I will put you in contact with the person in charge of raising money.

I wish Wanda nothing but the best and hope that she and her employees/friends (sometimes that line blurs) are all back on their feet really soon.

I know what it's like to have your world turned upside-down by a fire. On December 23rd '08 the apartment above mine was destroyed by a fire. The structure of my apartment was destroyed by flood and smoke. Luckily the contents were unharmed. I was displaced for 5 weeks, with no insurance and no proper compensation from the company I rent from. Not to mention the busses were not running! Renovations were finally fully completed last week and we're still unpacking and reorganizing.

My situation sucked more than I can express in words... I can only imagine how all the business owners who lost their stores in the Feb 6th fire feel.

My heart goes out to them.

(photo from Ottawa Citizen)

As if this needs my help...

Sexapalooza is this weekend at Lansdowne Park.

Despite what some people are saying, it's more than just a giant temporary mall of sexy retailers. There will be periodic stage shows throughout the weekend (Rockalily is part of this year's entertainment), a dungeon for you to learn all about BDSM the fun way, workshops and info sessions, a bar and some sexy greeters. Um.. did I mention the bar?

I'll be there the whole weekend, working in some capacity. Sometimes, for me, working includes gin and tonic; don't let a drink in my hand fool you, I am hard at work!

Anyway, this is a good chance to see a show, get spanked and take advantage of some trade show deals on toys and lingerie.

Sexapalooza Official Website

I'm not sure if you noticed; I'm famous!

It hasn't been posted online yet; The new issue of Algonquin College's GLUE Magazine came out yesterday. The feature article is on Rockalily! There's a full page photo of yours truly with 3 of the performers and an adjacent full page article.

GLUE is available on campus at Algonquin.