I have a friend.
His name is Jason.
You may have heard of him.
He entertains as "The Nads".
Like him or not, he's got some intelligent things to say.
http://jasonsetnyk.blogspot.com/
If enough of you go read his counter-cultural ramblings maybe he'll even update.
He and I have similar opinions - although I find it stresses me out to write about politics and current events; so I don't.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Sexual Assault
As originally published in Upfront Magazine issue #20
The door of the industrial sized walk-in freezer closed behind his massive body, I was trapped between 3 walls of frozen food and him, blocking my only exit. He cornered me, started touching my nipples that were hard from the cold freezer air. "I just want a kiss. You're beautiful, please just a kiss" he said. I was 16 and scared. I may not have been a virgin but I was definitely a spring chicken. I had a friend with me. She was 20 at the time and while I was trapped in the freezer she was out in the back of the pizza shop with the other worker. I don't know what she was doing, I never asked. All I know is that she neglected my screams.
He was wearing his white cooks outfit and there was flour smudged on his cheek. While he rubbed his hands all over my unwilling body all I could think about was how unsanitary the food must be. By the time he had his tiny hard penis inside of my cold nubile body I was feigning enthusiasm. I figured that if he thought I liked it he wouldn't hurt me. I remember him laughing and saying "I finish" and finally letting me get to the door. I stole his pack of cigarettes while he wasn't looking as some sort of consolation and ran out of there, my friend behind me. I couldn't believe it; she was saying "Thank you"! I later learned that she had gained an 8ball out of what happened that evening, I never found out if I was part of that deal. It was a few years before I would admit to anyone that I had been raped that evening. Other local girls who knew the place had asked if the men tried to touch me. I admitted that much. It had turned out these men were reputed drug dealers operating out of a suburban pizza shop; they were known, at least by the local teenage girl populous, for molesting and raping underage girls who went in looking to score a bag of pot.
Knowing that I was not the only one, I decided that something must be done. I went to the local police station and reported that they touched me, that they touched other young girls and that they were selling drugs. I did not give the police my name, I was afraid of what would happen if my Catholic parents found out.
It was at least another 2 years before Castle Pizza, in Kanata, was shut down.
I wanted to credit that story as anonymous, but I didn't feel right doing so. It happened to me, Raw Knee, your protagonist (It's my column and I'm the protagonist if I say I am!). To say that ending sexual assault and violence against women are causes close to my heart is an understatement. I try to take every opportunity to advocate these causes. Please don't misunderstand the point. I don't want your pity. I want you to be aware that this happens here in our home town. Just because we don't hear about it doesn't mean that it doesn't occur! I want you to understand that being assaulted is not the end of the world. It takes time to heal and trust may not come as easily - but it can be overcome if you try! The resources available in Ottawa are abundant and comprehensive. If you or anyone you know has suffered sexual abuse please check out The Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre: www.orcc.net / 613-562-2333 and The Sexual Assault Support Centre of Ottawa: www.sascottawa.org / 613-234-2266 Or go straight to the police.
One of the best ways to decrease sexual assault is to raise awareness and dispel myths.
Fear of being deported and fear of the police often keep immigrant and refugee women from reporting domestic abuse.
Only 1 in 10 sexual assaults is reported to the police. Of those that are acquaintance rapes, only 1 in 100 is reported to the police.
98% of sexual attackers are men.
39% of convicted sexual offenders receive probation as their harshest sentence.
86% of runaway girls and 50% of runaway boys have experienced sexual abuse.
80% of First Nations women have been assaulted or abused.
89% of sexual assault victims/survivors have no visible physical injuries.
3% of reported sexual assault victims are men over 17.
Ottawa-Carleton has the highest rate of reported sexual offenses in the province, at 280 per 10,000 people.
Read that last one again. That's right... Ottawa-Carleton.
On August 31st 2007 a 23-year old woman was brutally raped in a [supposedly] secure Carleton University lab building. She suffered a broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and undeniably, emotional damage. This story made the news because of it's brutality but quickly slipped under the radar upon her recovery. It was reported that this young woman denied the rape; because her faith, Islam, does not differentiate rape from willing acts of pre/extramerital sex and are punished as the same when it comes time for judgement.
When the attack was denied the search for the perpetrator was halted. Even if found, the assailant would not be charged. This man is still roaming around (presumably in Ottawa) quite possibly ready to attack again.
Although I feel for the young woman, and understand that her strong faith is her priority; I can't stress enough the importance of reporting sexual assault.
The only way to put an end to sexual assault and violence against women is not to tolerate it. Violence against any human for any reason is intolerable. Being raped is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Female OR male. Protect yourself, protect those around you, pledge never to willfully cause harm to others; And the biggest piece of unsolicited advice I will ever offer is this: If someone you know claims to have been sexually assaulted -Believe them! Take them seriously! Do not give them advice! Let them make their own decisions and support them in doing so. Your personal opinion is useless - they need someone to listen and be supportive, so shut your yap and hear them out.
The door of the industrial sized walk-in freezer closed behind his massive body, I was trapped between 3 walls of frozen food and him, blocking my only exit. He cornered me, started touching my nipples that were hard from the cold freezer air. "I just want a kiss. You're beautiful, please just a kiss" he said. I was 16 and scared. I may not have been a virgin but I was definitely a spring chicken. I had a friend with me. She was 20 at the time and while I was trapped in the freezer she was out in the back of the pizza shop with the other worker. I don't know what she was doing, I never asked. All I know is that she neglected my screams.
He was wearing his white cooks outfit and there was flour smudged on his cheek. While he rubbed his hands all over my unwilling body all I could think about was how unsanitary the food must be. By the time he had his tiny hard penis inside of my cold nubile body I was feigning enthusiasm. I figured that if he thought I liked it he wouldn't hurt me. I remember him laughing and saying "I finish" and finally letting me get to the door. I stole his pack of cigarettes while he wasn't looking as some sort of consolation and ran out of there, my friend behind me. I couldn't believe it; she was saying "Thank you"! I later learned that she had gained an 8ball out of what happened that evening, I never found out if I was part of that deal. It was a few years before I would admit to anyone that I had been raped that evening. Other local girls who knew the place had asked if the men tried to touch me. I admitted that much. It had turned out these men were reputed drug dealers operating out of a suburban pizza shop; they were known, at least by the local teenage girl populous, for molesting and raping underage girls who went in looking to score a bag of pot.
Knowing that I was not the only one, I decided that something must be done. I went to the local police station and reported that they touched me, that they touched other young girls and that they were selling drugs. I did not give the police my name, I was afraid of what would happen if my Catholic parents found out.
It was at least another 2 years before Castle Pizza, in Kanata, was shut down.
I wanted to credit that story as anonymous, but I didn't feel right doing so. It happened to me, Raw Knee, your protagonist (It's my column and I'm the protagonist if I say I am!). To say that ending sexual assault and violence against women are causes close to my heart is an understatement. I try to take every opportunity to advocate these causes. Please don't misunderstand the point. I don't want your pity. I want you to be aware that this happens here in our home town. Just because we don't hear about it doesn't mean that it doesn't occur! I want you to understand that being assaulted is not the end of the world. It takes time to heal and trust may not come as easily - but it can be overcome if you try! The resources available in Ottawa are abundant and comprehensive. If you or anyone you know has suffered sexual abuse please check out The Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre: www.orcc.net / 613-562-2333 and The Sexual Assault Support Centre of Ottawa: www.sascottawa.org / 613-234-2266 Or go straight to the police.
One of the best ways to decrease sexual assault is to raise awareness and dispel myths.
Fear of being deported and fear of the police often keep immigrant and refugee women from reporting domestic abuse.
Only 1 in 10 sexual assaults is reported to the police. Of those that are acquaintance rapes, only 1 in 100 is reported to the police.
98% of sexual attackers are men.
39% of convicted sexual offenders receive probation as their harshest sentence.
86% of runaway girls and 50% of runaway boys have experienced sexual abuse.
80% of First Nations women have been assaulted or abused.
89% of sexual assault victims/survivors have no visible physical injuries.
3% of reported sexual assault victims are men over 17.
Ottawa-Carleton has the highest rate of reported sexual offenses in the province, at 280 per 10,000 people.
Read that last one again. That's right... Ottawa-Carleton.
On August 31st 2007 a 23-year old woman was brutally raped in a [supposedly] secure Carleton University lab building. She suffered a broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and undeniably, emotional damage. This story made the news because of it's brutality but quickly slipped under the radar upon her recovery. It was reported that this young woman denied the rape; because her faith, Islam, does not differentiate rape from willing acts of pre/extramerital sex and are punished as the same when it comes time for judgement.
When the attack was denied the search for the perpetrator was halted. Even if found, the assailant would not be charged. This man is still roaming around (presumably in Ottawa) quite possibly ready to attack again.
Although I feel for the young woman, and understand that her strong faith is her priority; I can't stress enough the importance of reporting sexual assault.
The only way to put an end to sexual assault and violence against women is not to tolerate it. Violence against any human for any reason is intolerable. Being raped is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Female OR male. Protect yourself, protect those around you, pledge never to willfully cause harm to others; And the biggest piece of unsolicited advice I will ever offer is this: If someone you know claims to have been sexually assaulted -Believe them! Take them seriously! Do not give them advice! Let them make their own decisions and support them in doing so. Your personal opinion is useless - they need someone to listen and be supportive, so shut your yap and hear them out.
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