Did anyone notice that I changed the name of my blog again?
It's long overdue that I make this announcement:
After spending most of my life, including my entire adult life thus far, in Ottawa, I have decided that it's time I try on a new city. On November 6th, 2009, I will be packing up and moving to Montreal.
I can't really blog about smut in the Capital city when I'm not there, can I?
To those of you who call yourselves my fans, thanks for your readership and loyalty! I'm not abandoning you entirely; Veronica's Closet, my column in Upfront Magazine, will continue to run as a Q+A column. Unfortunately, I will no longer be a voice for the Ottawa scene - but I'll still be helpful and witty... as much as I ever was, anyway.
This blog will also live on, with a bit of a new style. The posts will be more universal and I hope to write more personally.
I have big plans for Montreal and you can expect at least one or two posts on my grand adventures in what once was Canada's largest city and is now a mecca of kink, fetish, art and hedonism. (I think I'll fit right in!)
Oh, and just so you all know. I'll be back in Ottawa before you know it! The plan is to spend a year in la belle Province.
Those of you Ottawans who know or recognize me can see me in my usual hangouts for the next 2 months before I go. Come say hi! I don't bite... and for those of you who are Rockalily fans - just wait 'till you see what I've been working on for October 30th. Save the date! My last confirmed show with the burlesque ladies is going to be epic!
XOXO
RawKnee
Showing posts with label UpFront. Show all posts
Showing posts with label UpFront. Show all posts
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
A Question of Gender
Posted by request, as the current issue of UpFront Magazine, containing Veronica's Closet, is unavailable online. The following is an excerpt from the July edition of Veronica's Closet:
I recently watched a documentary called "Trantasia". It's the story of the world's first "most beautiful transsexual" pageant, complete with the bios and life stories of the contestants. I was very happy to see that a documentary on transwomen existed that portrayed them in a positive, non-pornographic light. Fighting transphobia and raising awareness about trans rights is one of my pet issues, but it hasn't always been. Years ago I used to attend a LGBT youth support and discussion group with one of my best friends, who is a lesbian. This is where both of us had our first encounter with a transwoman. My friend, who is still one of my best friends to this day, reminded me of this while we were watching Trantasia. The first transperson whom I had ever met left a bad taste in my mouth. She seemed to have the attitude that if she wasn't a bitch to everyone she wasn't going to get through life. It truly makes me sad that she felt this way, but I can't blame her. Because of her negativity, most of the rest of the group of queer youths would call her names behind her back. This negative first impression left me with a bad attitude towards transpeople. It took a few years for me to pull my head out of my ass and get over it, but now I'm very happy to be able to call myself a trans ally and count a few transpeople as my friends. I was pleased to see a question in my inbox this month that fit right into the issue of transphobia, I hope I've been able to help with my response.
What's the right way to refer to someone who has had a sex change or even someone who is pre-op. He, She, He-she?
This question makes me both happy and sad - happy that you've thought to ask, but sad, as it's a reminder of how many people are ignorant of transpeople and treat them as lesser beings. Etiquette within and between various alternative communities is very important and often overlooked by the average and vanilla. "Trans" is a very broad term, used to define people who are transitioning from one gender to another, have transitioned, living in the androgynous middle and everything in between. Although the polite thing to do when you're unsure of someone's gender status is to ask what pronoun they prefer, please take into consideration whether it's any of your business. Do you have a professional relationship? Are they a stranger? Is this person's gender status going to have any effect on your relationship with them? Then no, it's none of your business - don't ask! If you must refer to them in third person use "they", "them" or their name. Is it a close friend who's making a major lifestyle change? Are they a friend or family member's new lover? Is it someone who you are interested in becoming friends with? Then by all means, ask them if the information is not readily offered. Asking will not only show that you care, but that you are accepting of a lifestyle that is heavily misunderstood and disrespected. You will likely be asked to use "he" or "she" but some people prefer gender neutral pronouns like "ze". Another situation where the issue of pronouns may arise is with drag queens and cross dressers. Men, gay or straight, who live as men but moonlight as women (either as performers, fetishists or simply out of curiosity) are not transpeople. Same as women who live as females but dress up like men; However, when a crossdresser is in character - more often than not, they would prefer to be referred to as however they are portraying themselves. ie: a man wearing lipstick and a dress would probably prefer to be called she, and a woman wearing a pants suit and moustache would probably like to be called he. One last thing - You may need to know someone's gender status so you know how to address them, but their sexual orientation is none of your business - and that goes for everyone.
I recently watched a documentary called "Trantasia". It's the story of the world's first "most beautiful transsexual" pageant, complete with the bios and life stories of the contestants. I was very happy to see that a documentary on transwomen existed that portrayed them in a positive, non-pornographic light. Fighting transphobia and raising awareness about trans rights is one of my pet issues, but it hasn't always been. Years ago I used to attend a LGBT youth support and discussion group with one of my best friends, who is a lesbian. This is where both of us had our first encounter with a transwoman. My friend, who is still one of my best friends to this day, reminded me of this while we were watching Trantasia. The first transperson whom I had ever met left a bad taste in my mouth. She seemed to have the attitude that if she wasn't a bitch to everyone she wasn't going to get through life. It truly makes me sad that she felt this way, but I can't blame her. Because of her negativity, most of the rest of the group of queer youths would call her names behind her back. This negative first impression left me with a bad attitude towards transpeople. It took a few years for me to pull my head out of my ass and get over it, but now I'm very happy to be able to call myself a trans ally and count a few transpeople as my friends. I was pleased to see a question in my inbox this month that fit right into the issue of transphobia, I hope I've been able to help with my response.
What's the right way to refer to someone who has had a sex change or even someone who is pre-op. He, She, He-she?
This question makes me both happy and sad - happy that you've thought to ask, but sad, as it's a reminder of how many people are ignorant of transpeople and treat them as lesser beings. Etiquette within and between various alternative communities is very important and often overlooked by the average and vanilla. "Trans" is a very broad term, used to define people who are transitioning from one gender to another, have transitioned, living in the androgynous middle and everything in between. Although the polite thing to do when you're unsure of someone's gender status is to ask what pronoun they prefer, please take into consideration whether it's any of your business. Do you have a professional relationship? Are they a stranger? Is this person's gender status going to have any effect on your relationship with them? Then no, it's none of your business - don't ask! If you must refer to them in third person use "they", "them" or their name. Is it a close friend who's making a major lifestyle change? Are they a friend or family member's new lover? Is it someone who you are interested in becoming friends with? Then by all means, ask them if the information is not readily offered. Asking will not only show that you care, but that you are accepting of a lifestyle that is heavily misunderstood and disrespected. You will likely be asked to use "he" or "she" but some people prefer gender neutral pronouns like "ze". Another situation where the issue of pronouns may arise is with drag queens and cross dressers. Men, gay or straight, who live as men but moonlight as women (either as performers, fetishists or simply out of curiosity) are not transpeople. Same as women who live as females but dress up like men; However, when a crossdresser is in character - more often than not, they would prefer to be referred to as however they are portraying themselves. ie: a man wearing lipstick and a dress would probably prefer to be called she, and a woman wearing a pants suit and moustache would probably like to be called he. One last thing - You may need to know someone's gender status so you know how to address them, but their sexual orientation is none of your business - and that goes for everyone.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Full Toy Review: Pure Vibes Anal Plug
Pure Vibes Vibrating Anal Plug, $19.95: A small silicone plug with 4 speeds of vibration. Controller is on a wire connected to plug and had button controls. Can be used by men or women either for masturbation or to add a little buzz to vaginal intercourse. Never take a toy from the butt and put it in the vag without a thorough cleaning. Never share your insertables with other people.
Reviewed by Emma and Dave, Roommates.
It has a nice soft feel and is very smooth to get in - very little warm up needed ( one finger only!) nice shape ,really comfortable once it was in the ass. The 1st setting kind of tickled the fourth setting was the best. The top wasnt quite large enough for the plug to stay in on its own so it had to be held in place. Dave could feel it when he was fucking my cunt and I dont think it really did anything for him (the vibrating that is). The vibrating sensation on its own didnt get me off that much and it definitely could have been larger! Overall I give it three hard clits out of five...Its not as good as a cock in the ass but great for solo fun when
you just need to put something up there!! - Emma
Buy this toy!
Reviewed by Emma and Dave, Roommates.
It has a nice soft feel and is very smooth to get in - very little warm up needed ( one finger only!) nice shape ,really comfortable once it was in the ass. The 1st setting kind of tickled the fourth setting was the best. The top wasnt quite large enough for the plug to stay in on its own so it had to be held in place. Dave could feel it when he was fucking my cunt and I dont think it really did anything for him (the vibrating that is). The vibrating sensation on its own didnt get me off that much and it definitely could have been larger! Overall I give it three hard clits out of five...Its not as good as a cock in the ass but great for solo fun when
you just need to put something up there!! - Emma
Buy this toy!
Full Toy Review: Screaming O
Screaming O, $6.95: A disposable vibrating cock ring made of soft jelly. The vibrating part can be worn on the top of the shaft for clitoral stimulation during intercourse, on the bottom of the shaft to stimulate the testes of the wearer, or the perineum of the partner during man-on-man love. Vibrations last approximately 40 minutes. Never wear a cock ring for longer than 20 minutes.
Reviewed by Carly and Ian, dating.
The first disappointment with this product occurred before it was even out of the package.. in fact, getting it out of the package was the problem. Luckily, there happened to be some sharp things just laying about that we utilized to open the offending wrapping. Things didn't improve much after that. I found the vibration of the ring actually diminished the stimulation I normally experience while being intimate with my partner. Basically, everything was overwhelmed by a boring buzz. I did end up acheiving climax. However, I did not orgasm any more than I normally do without using any toys. In fact, I may have orgasmed less. Let me reiterate... Bouurns! My partner also found this product to be lack lustre. He didn't find that it provided any additional pleasure. We tried 3 different positions: missionary, woman on top, and doggie style. For the last position mentioned, we turned the ring so that the vibrator was underneath the penis, in order to stimulate both the clitoris and the scrotum. Still, not particularly fun. One good thing he mentioned about it was that, unlike the similar products he had tried in the past, the 'screaming-O' has balls around the ring which actually make the vibration... well, noticable for the man.
Ultimately, we would not buy this product again. We won't even be using the one we have for a second time. Final verdict... Screaming NO. - Carly
Buy this toy!
Reviewed by Carly and Ian, dating.
The first disappointment with this product occurred before it was even out of the package.. in fact, getting it out of the package was the problem. Luckily, there happened to be some sharp things just laying about that we utilized to open the offending wrapping. Things didn't improve much after that. I found the vibration of the ring actually diminished the stimulation I normally experience while being intimate with my partner. Basically, everything was overwhelmed by a boring buzz. I did end up acheiving climax. However, I did not orgasm any more than I normally do without using any toys. In fact, I may have orgasmed less. Let me reiterate... Bouurns! My partner also found this product to be lack lustre. He didn't find that it provided any additional pleasure. We tried 3 different positions: missionary, woman on top, and doggie style. For the last position mentioned, we turned the ring so that the vibrator was underneath the penis, in order to stimulate both the clitoris and the scrotum. Still, not particularly fun. One good thing he mentioned about it was that, unlike the similar products he had tried in the past, the 'screaming-O' has balls around the ring which actually make the vibration... well, noticable for the man.
Ultimately, we would not buy this product again. We won't even be using the one we have for a second time. Final verdict... Screaming NO. - Carly
Buy this toy!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Sexual Assault
As originally published in Upfront Magazine issue #20
The door of the industrial sized walk-in freezer closed behind his massive body, I was trapped between 3 walls of frozen food and him, blocking my only exit. He cornered me, started touching my nipples that were hard from the cold freezer air. "I just want a kiss. You're beautiful, please just a kiss" he said. I was 16 and scared. I may not have been a virgin but I was definitely a spring chicken. I had a friend with me. She was 20 at the time and while I was trapped in the freezer she was out in the back of the pizza shop with the other worker. I don't know what she was doing, I never asked. All I know is that she neglected my screams.
He was wearing his white cooks outfit and there was flour smudged on his cheek. While he rubbed his hands all over my unwilling body all I could think about was how unsanitary the food must be. By the time he had his tiny hard penis inside of my cold nubile body I was feigning enthusiasm. I figured that if he thought I liked it he wouldn't hurt me. I remember him laughing and saying "I finish" and finally letting me get to the door. I stole his pack of cigarettes while he wasn't looking as some sort of consolation and ran out of there, my friend behind me. I couldn't believe it; she was saying "Thank you"! I later learned that she had gained an 8ball out of what happened that evening, I never found out if I was part of that deal. It was a few years before I would admit to anyone that I had been raped that evening. Other local girls who knew the place had asked if the men tried to touch me. I admitted that much. It had turned out these men were reputed drug dealers operating out of a suburban pizza shop; they were known, at least by the local teenage girl populous, for molesting and raping underage girls who went in looking to score a bag of pot.
Knowing that I was not the only one, I decided that something must be done. I went to the local police station and reported that they touched me, that they touched other young girls and that they were selling drugs. I did not give the police my name, I was afraid of what would happen if my Catholic parents found out.
It was at least another 2 years before Castle Pizza, in Kanata, was shut down.
I wanted to credit that story as anonymous, but I didn't feel right doing so. It happened to me, Raw Knee, your protagonist (It's my column and I'm the protagonist if I say I am!). To say that ending sexual assault and violence against women are causes close to my heart is an understatement. I try to take every opportunity to advocate these causes. Please don't misunderstand the point. I don't want your pity. I want you to be aware that this happens here in our home town. Just because we don't hear about it doesn't mean that it doesn't occur! I want you to understand that being assaulted is not the end of the world. It takes time to heal and trust may not come as easily - but it can be overcome if you try! The resources available in Ottawa are abundant and comprehensive. If you or anyone you know has suffered sexual abuse please check out The Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre: www.orcc.net / 613-562-2333 and The Sexual Assault Support Centre of Ottawa: www.sascottawa.org / 613-234-2266 Or go straight to the police.
One of the best ways to decrease sexual assault is to raise awareness and dispel myths.
Fear of being deported and fear of the police often keep immigrant and refugee women from reporting domestic abuse.
Only 1 in 10 sexual assaults is reported to the police. Of those that are acquaintance rapes, only 1 in 100 is reported to the police.
98% of sexual attackers are men.
39% of convicted sexual offenders receive probation as their harshest sentence.
86% of runaway girls and 50% of runaway boys have experienced sexual abuse.
80% of First Nations women have been assaulted or abused.
89% of sexual assault victims/survivors have no visible physical injuries.
3% of reported sexual assault victims are men over 17.
Ottawa-Carleton has the highest rate of reported sexual offenses in the province, at 280 per 10,000 people.
Read that last one again. That's right... Ottawa-Carleton.
On August 31st 2007 a 23-year old woman was brutally raped in a [supposedly] secure Carleton University lab building. She suffered a broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and undeniably, emotional damage. This story made the news because of it's brutality but quickly slipped under the radar upon her recovery. It was reported that this young woman denied the rape; because her faith, Islam, does not differentiate rape from willing acts of pre/extramerital sex and are punished as the same when it comes time for judgement.
When the attack was denied the search for the perpetrator was halted. Even if found, the assailant would not be charged. This man is still roaming around (presumably in Ottawa) quite possibly ready to attack again.
Although I feel for the young woman, and understand that her strong faith is her priority; I can't stress enough the importance of reporting sexual assault.
The only way to put an end to sexual assault and violence against women is not to tolerate it. Violence against any human for any reason is intolerable. Being raped is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Female OR male. Protect yourself, protect those around you, pledge never to willfully cause harm to others; And the biggest piece of unsolicited advice I will ever offer is this: If someone you know claims to have been sexually assaulted -Believe them! Take them seriously! Do not give them advice! Let them make their own decisions and support them in doing so. Your personal opinion is useless - they need someone to listen and be supportive, so shut your yap and hear them out.
The door of the industrial sized walk-in freezer closed behind his massive body, I was trapped between 3 walls of frozen food and him, blocking my only exit. He cornered me, started touching my nipples that were hard from the cold freezer air. "I just want a kiss. You're beautiful, please just a kiss" he said. I was 16 and scared. I may not have been a virgin but I was definitely a spring chicken. I had a friend with me. She was 20 at the time and while I was trapped in the freezer she was out in the back of the pizza shop with the other worker. I don't know what she was doing, I never asked. All I know is that she neglected my screams.
He was wearing his white cooks outfit and there was flour smudged on his cheek. While he rubbed his hands all over my unwilling body all I could think about was how unsanitary the food must be. By the time he had his tiny hard penis inside of my cold nubile body I was feigning enthusiasm. I figured that if he thought I liked it he wouldn't hurt me. I remember him laughing and saying "I finish" and finally letting me get to the door. I stole his pack of cigarettes while he wasn't looking as some sort of consolation and ran out of there, my friend behind me. I couldn't believe it; she was saying "Thank you"! I later learned that she had gained an 8ball out of what happened that evening, I never found out if I was part of that deal. It was a few years before I would admit to anyone that I had been raped that evening. Other local girls who knew the place had asked if the men tried to touch me. I admitted that much. It had turned out these men were reputed drug dealers operating out of a suburban pizza shop; they were known, at least by the local teenage girl populous, for molesting and raping underage girls who went in looking to score a bag of pot.
Knowing that I was not the only one, I decided that something must be done. I went to the local police station and reported that they touched me, that they touched other young girls and that they were selling drugs. I did not give the police my name, I was afraid of what would happen if my Catholic parents found out.
It was at least another 2 years before Castle Pizza, in Kanata, was shut down.
I wanted to credit that story as anonymous, but I didn't feel right doing so. It happened to me, Raw Knee, your protagonist (It's my column and I'm the protagonist if I say I am!). To say that ending sexual assault and violence against women are causes close to my heart is an understatement. I try to take every opportunity to advocate these causes. Please don't misunderstand the point. I don't want your pity. I want you to be aware that this happens here in our home town. Just because we don't hear about it doesn't mean that it doesn't occur! I want you to understand that being assaulted is not the end of the world. It takes time to heal and trust may not come as easily - but it can be overcome if you try! The resources available in Ottawa are abundant and comprehensive. If you or anyone you know has suffered sexual abuse please check out The Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre: www.orcc.net / 613-562-2333 and The Sexual Assault Support Centre of Ottawa: www.sascottawa.org / 613-234-2266 Or go straight to the police.
One of the best ways to decrease sexual assault is to raise awareness and dispel myths.
Fear of being deported and fear of the police often keep immigrant and refugee women from reporting domestic abuse.
Only 1 in 10 sexual assaults is reported to the police. Of those that are acquaintance rapes, only 1 in 100 is reported to the police.
98% of sexual attackers are men.
39% of convicted sexual offenders receive probation as their harshest sentence.
86% of runaway girls and 50% of runaway boys have experienced sexual abuse.
80% of First Nations women have been assaulted or abused.
89% of sexual assault victims/survivors have no visible physical injuries.
3% of reported sexual assault victims are men over 17.
Ottawa-Carleton has the highest rate of reported sexual offenses in the province, at 280 per 10,000 people.
Read that last one again. That's right... Ottawa-Carleton.
On August 31st 2007 a 23-year old woman was brutally raped in a [supposedly] secure Carleton University lab building. She suffered a broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and undeniably, emotional damage. This story made the news because of it's brutality but quickly slipped under the radar upon her recovery. It was reported that this young woman denied the rape; because her faith, Islam, does not differentiate rape from willing acts of pre/extramerital sex and are punished as the same when it comes time for judgement.
When the attack was denied the search for the perpetrator was halted. Even if found, the assailant would not be charged. This man is still roaming around (presumably in Ottawa) quite possibly ready to attack again.
Although I feel for the young woman, and understand that her strong faith is her priority; I can't stress enough the importance of reporting sexual assault.
The only way to put an end to sexual assault and violence against women is not to tolerate it. Violence against any human for any reason is intolerable. Being raped is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Female OR male. Protect yourself, protect those around you, pledge never to willfully cause harm to others; And the biggest piece of unsolicited advice I will ever offer is this: If someone you know claims to have been sexually assaulted -Believe them! Take them seriously! Do not give them advice! Let them make their own decisions and support them in doing so. Your personal opinion is useless - they need someone to listen and be supportive, so shut your yap and hear them out.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Reader Input Required
I'm working on 2 possible articles for next month's Veronica's Closet. I'm either going with Rape and Sexual Assault or a more light-hearted article about losing one's virginity.
Anyone willing to share stories of rape or sexual assault with me can do so by emailing me at ask.raw.knee@gmail.com
Feel free to do so anonymously. It would be greatly appreciated.
I understand that this is a difficult subject to talk about. The only way to prevent it from happening to other people is to make them aware that this does happen here in our home town and that not only do the police have your back, there are many resources available for free counseling, therapy, educational material, self-defense classes etc. I've been through it myself (more than once) and if I do choose to go with the Rape/Sexual Assault angle I will be sharing one of my own stories, albeit I may decide to credit it "anonymous".
Alternatively, I'm seeking stories of amusing, interesting, entertaining and otherwise terrible cherry poppin' experiences.
How was your first time?
Let me know!
email me! You could get to see your name in print, or if you choose to remain anonymous, share your story - do Ottawa a favour: expose the reality of sexual assault / make us laugh with your lost virginity story.
XOXO
RawKnee
P.S. Ladies, if you've ever been wronged or hurt by someone I really am willing to listen. As I said, I've been there. I promise not to be preachy or offer advice unless asked to. Sometimes you just need to talk.
Anyone willing to share stories of rape or sexual assault with me can do so by emailing me at ask.raw.knee@gmail.com
Feel free to do so anonymously. It would be greatly appreciated.
I understand that this is a difficult subject to talk about. The only way to prevent it from happening to other people is to make them aware that this does happen here in our home town and that not only do the police have your back, there are many resources available for free counseling, therapy, educational material, self-defense classes etc. I've been through it myself (more than once) and if I do choose to go with the Rape/Sexual Assault angle I will be sharing one of my own stories, albeit I may decide to credit it "anonymous".
Alternatively, I'm seeking stories of amusing, interesting, entertaining and otherwise terrible cherry poppin' experiences.
How was your first time?
Let me know!
email me! You could get to see your name in print, or if you choose to remain anonymous, share your story - do Ottawa a favour: expose the reality of sexual assault / make us laugh with your lost virginity story.
XOXO
RawKnee
P.S. Ladies, if you've ever been wronged or hurt by someone I really am willing to listen. As I said, I've been there. I promise not to be preachy or offer advice unless asked to. Sometimes you just need to talk.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Veronica Fever
I'm only going to explain this once more.
My name is Veronica.
Raw Knee is a pseudonym. Back in the teenage years my peers often opted to call me "Ronnie". I never really liked it. At one point I said "If you're going to call me Ronnie you have to spell it like this: Raw Knee" It stuck (with most people).
I may be a fellatio aficionado, but I'm not a self-depreciating hoe-bag. If I ever have raw knees it's because I'm a klutz and I fall a lot, not because I'm constantly on my knees sucking cock.
Capiche?
You should listen to "Veronica Fever" by the Ravonettes. I kind of think it was written about me. (wishful delirious thinking).
The Brainstorm meeting for the March issue of UpFront is this afternoon. You can count on me to have absolutely no ideas nor creativity - but to pump out another informative column.
Due to space issues: the entirety of the "bottom 10's" didn't get printed. I'm considering posting the rejected categories here.
Yeah, I think I'll do that. Keep your eyes peeled. It'll probably be a couple of days.
Love,
Raw Knee
My name is Veronica.
Raw Knee is a pseudonym. Back in the teenage years my peers often opted to call me "Ronnie". I never really liked it. At one point I said "If you're going to call me Ronnie you have to spell it like this: Raw Knee" It stuck (with most people).
I may be a fellatio aficionado, but I'm not a self-depreciating hoe-bag. If I ever have raw knees it's because I'm a klutz and I fall a lot, not because I'm constantly on my knees sucking cock.
Capiche?
You should listen to "Veronica Fever" by the Ravonettes. I kind of think it was written about me. (wishful delirious thinking).
The Brainstorm meeting for the March issue of UpFront is this afternoon. You can count on me to have absolutely no ideas nor creativity - but to pump out another informative column.
Due to space issues: the entirety of the "bottom 10's" didn't get printed. I'm considering posting the rejected categories here.
Yeah, I think I'll do that. Keep your eyes peeled. It'll probably be a couple of days.
Love,
Raw Knee
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
A reader concern
Hi, Paw Knee
I don't have a question so much as a comment. In your January response to a man who asked about non-exclusive relationships, I found your comment that "(most) women, by nature, want to be in exclusive partnerships…" rather offensive. I have an open mind about people's choices, and women, just as men, have the choice to engage in whatever relationship they want to, which includes nonexclusive relationships. I am wondering what is the natural and innate aversion women have towards an open relationship? I am a woman and I have yet to be handed a guide which tells me I want to be in an exclusive partnerships, or know my nature to be against nonexclusive relationships. I did enjoy the rest of your responses, but I'd appreciate some future care with the unsubstantial conclusions you make.
(Name withheld at my discretion)
(name withheld),
I am truly sorry to offend. I hope you understand that it is not my intent to do so and I very much appreciate your feedback.
I also keep an open mind about people's decisions, however, when asked such a generic question I have little choice but to answer based on the majority - and the fact is that women are psychologically predisposed to long for exculsivity within a partnership. I fully acknowledge that it is not always the case. Polyamory is a legitimate lifestyle choice, although uncommon, as are casual encounters and extensive casual relationships. What I've learned through studies, experience and social observation is that women prefer monogamy for a few key reasons, most notably: social conditioning. We are bred from birth (by various media outlets, religions and for many, our families) to believe that the proper adult relationship is a man and a woman together... generally for the purpose of procreation.
I don't really agree with it, although my opinion is not what matters. The matter is that I gave a generic response to a rather generically formulated question. If you have any more questions, corrections or comments please feel free to email me and I would be happy to consider the issue(s).
Keep reading and be safe!
Raw Knee
I don't have a question so much as a comment. In your January response to a man who asked about non-exclusive relationships, I found your comment that "(most) women, by nature, want to be in exclusive partnerships…" rather offensive. I have an open mind about people's choices, and women, just as men, have the choice to engage in whatever relationship they want to, which includes nonexclusive relationships. I am wondering what is the natural and innate aversion women have towards an open relationship? I am a woman and I have yet to be handed a guide which tells me I want to be in an exclusive partnerships, or know my nature to be against nonexclusive relationships. I did enjoy the rest of your responses, but I'd appreciate some future care with the unsubstantial conclusions you make.
(Name withheld at my discretion)
(name withheld),
I am truly sorry to offend. I hope you understand that it is not my intent to do so and I very much appreciate your feedback.
I also keep an open mind about people's decisions, however, when asked such a generic question I have little choice but to answer based on the majority - and the fact is that women are psychologically predisposed to long for exculsivity within a partnership. I fully acknowledge that it is not always the case. Polyamory is a legitimate lifestyle choice, although uncommon, as are casual encounters and extensive casual relationships. What I've learned through studies, experience and social observation is that women prefer monogamy for a few key reasons, most notably: social conditioning. We are bred from birth (by various media outlets, religions and for many, our families) to believe that the proper adult relationship is a man and a woman together... generally for the purpose of procreation.
I don't really agree with it, although my opinion is not what matters. The matter is that I gave a generic response to a rather generically formulated question. If you have any more questions, corrections or comments please feel free to email me and I would be happy to consider the issue(s).
Keep reading and be safe!
Raw Knee
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)