Did anyone notice that I changed the name of my blog again?
It's long overdue that I make this announcement:
After spending most of my life, including my entire adult life thus far, in Ottawa, I have decided that it's time I try on a new city. On November 6th, 2009, I will be packing up and moving to Montreal.
I can't really blog about smut in the Capital city when I'm not there, can I?
To those of you who call yourselves my fans, thanks for your readership and loyalty! I'm not abandoning you entirely; Veronica's Closet, my column in Upfront Magazine, will continue to run as a Q+A column. Unfortunately, I will no longer be a voice for the Ottawa scene - but I'll still be helpful and witty... as much as I ever was, anyway.
This blog will also live on, with a bit of a new style. The posts will be more universal and I hope to write more personally.
I have big plans for Montreal and you can expect at least one or two posts on my grand adventures in what once was Canada's largest city and is now a mecca of kink, fetish, art and hedonism. (I think I'll fit right in!)
Oh, and just so you all know. I'll be back in Ottawa before you know it! The plan is to spend a year in la belle Province.
Those of you Ottawans who know or recognize me can see me in my usual hangouts for the next 2 months before I go. Come say hi! I don't bite... and for those of you who are Rockalily fans - just wait 'till you see what I've been working on for October 30th. Save the date! My last confirmed show with the burlesque ladies is going to be epic!
XOXO
RawKnee
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Coffee Politics
I'm used to hearing about the politics of coffee regarding the treatment and wages of the growers; the economics and unfairly high profit margins; and even the poor little teenagers who work in chain coffee shops as their first job, not knowing their rights, being treated like shit and subjected to constant 1st degree burns (sometimes worse!) ... but, the sexual politics of coffee. No way!
Well, folks, it seems that since opening up shop in the states, the Canadian capitalist coffee giant, Tim Hortons, has made a few enemies, at least among LGBTQ communities along the American North-East coast.
Tim Hortons has recently agreed to sponsor a rally in Rhode Island hosted by the National Organization for Marriage. NOM is leading campaigns to take away the right to same-sex civil union in several states.
What's up, Tim Hortons? Why are you doing this? Do you think queers don't drink coffee, or that homophobes are better for business?
You can read more about it at change.org
Make sure you sign the petition.
EDIT: Tim Hortons has withdrawn sponsorship and issued an apology
Well, folks, it seems that since opening up shop in the states, the Canadian capitalist coffee giant, Tim Hortons, has made a few enemies, at least among LGBTQ communities along the American North-East coast.
Tim Hortons has recently agreed to sponsor a rally in Rhode Island hosted by the National Organization for Marriage. NOM is leading campaigns to take away the right to same-sex civil union in several states.
What's up, Tim Hortons? Why are you doing this? Do you think queers don't drink coffee, or that homophobes are better for business?
You can read more about it at change.org
Make sure you sign the petition.
EDIT: Tim Hortons has withdrawn sponsorship and issued an apology
Monday, August 3, 2009
A Question of Gender
Posted by request, as the current issue of UpFront Magazine, containing Veronica's Closet, is unavailable online. The following is an excerpt from the July edition of Veronica's Closet:
I recently watched a documentary called "Trantasia". It's the story of the world's first "most beautiful transsexual" pageant, complete with the bios and life stories of the contestants. I was very happy to see that a documentary on transwomen existed that portrayed them in a positive, non-pornographic light. Fighting transphobia and raising awareness about trans rights is one of my pet issues, but it hasn't always been. Years ago I used to attend a LGBT youth support and discussion group with one of my best friends, who is a lesbian. This is where both of us had our first encounter with a transwoman. My friend, who is still one of my best friends to this day, reminded me of this while we were watching Trantasia. The first transperson whom I had ever met left a bad taste in my mouth. She seemed to have the attitude that if she wasn't a bitch to everyone she wasn't going to get through life. It truly makes me sad that she felt this way, but I can't blame her. Because of her negativity, most of the rest of the group of queer youths would call her names behind her back. This negative first impression left me with a bad attitude towards transpeople. It took a few years for me to pull my head out of my ass and get over it, but now I'm very happy to be able to call myself a trans ally and count a few transpeople as my friends. I was pleased to see a question in my inbox this month that fit right into the issue of transphobia, I hope I've been able to help with my response.
What's the right way to refer to someone who has had a sex change or even someone who is pre-op. He, She, He-she?
This question makes me both happy and sad - happy that you've thought to ask, but sad, as it's a reminder of how many people are ignorant of transpeople and treat them as lesser beings. Etiquette within and between various alternative communities is very important and often overlooked by the average and vanilla. "Trans" is a very broad term, used to define people who are transitioning from one gender to another, have transitioned, living in the androgynous middle and everything in between. Although the polite thing to do when you're unsure of someone's gender status is to ask what pronoun they prefer, please take into consideration whether it's any of your business. Do you have a professional relationship? Are they a stranger? Is this person's gender status going to have any effect on your relationship with them? Then no, it's none of your business - don't ask! If you must refer to them in third person use "they", "them" or their name. Is it a close friend who's making a major lifestyle change? Are they a friend or family member's new lover? Is it someone who you are interested in becoming friends with? Then by all means, ask them if the information is not readily offered. Asking will not only show that you care, but that you are accepting of a lifestyle that is heavily misunderstood and disrespected. You will likely be asked to use "he" or "she" but some people prefer gender neutral pronouns like "ze". Another situation where the issue of pronouns may arise is with drag queens and cross dressers. Men, gay or straight, who live as men but moonlight as women (either as performers, fetishists or simply out of curiosity) are not transpeople. Same as women who live as females but dress up like men; However, when a crossdresser is in character - more often than not, they would prefer to be referred to as however they are portraying themselves. ie: a man wearing lipstick and a dress would probably prefer to be called she, and a woman wearing a pants suit and moustache would probably like to be called he. One last thing - You may need to know someone's gender status so you know how to address them, but their sexual orientation is none of your business - and that goes for everyone.
I recently watched a documentary called "Trantasia". It's the story of the world's first "most beautiful transsexual" pageant, complete with the bios and life stories of the contestants. I was very happy to see that a documentary on transwomen existed that portrayed them in a positive, non-pornographic light. Fighting transphobia and raising awareness about trans rights is one of my pet issues, but it hasn't always been. Years ago I used to attend a LGBT youth support and discussion group with one of my best friends, who is a lesbian. This is where both of us had our first encounter with a transwoman. My friend, who is still one of my best friends to this day, reminded me of this while we were watching Trantasia. The first transperson whom I had ever met left a bad taste in my mouth. She seemed to have the attitude that if she wasn't a bitch to everyone she wasn't going to get through life. It truly makes me sad that she felt this way, but I can't blame her. Because of her negativity, most of the rest of the group of queer youths would call her names behind her back. This negative first impression left me with a bad attitude towards transpeople. It took a few years for me to pull my head out of my ass and get over it, but now I'm very happy to be able to call myself a trans ally and count a few transpeople as my friends. I was pleased to see a question in my inbox this month that fit right into the issue of transphobia, I hope I've been able to help with my response.
What's the right way to refer to someone who has had a sex change or even someone who is pre-op. He, She, He-she?
This question makes me both happy and sad - happy that you've thought to ask, but sad, as it's a reminder of how many people are ignorant of transpeople and treat them as lesser beings. Etiquette within and between various alternative communities is very important and often overlooked by the average and vanilla. "Trans" is a very broad term, used to define people who are transitioning from one gender to another, have transitioned, living in the androgynous middle and everything in between. Although the polite thing to do when you're unsure of someone's gender status is to ask what pronoun they prefer, please take into consideration whether it's any of your business. Do you have a professional relationship? Are they a stranger? Is this person's gender status going to have any effect on your relationship with them? Then no, it's none of your business - don't ask! If you must refer to them in third person use "they", "them" or their name. Is it a close friend who's making a major lifestyle change? Are they a friend or family member's new lover? Is it someone who you are interested in becoming friends with? Then by all means, ask them if the information is not readily offered. Asking will not only show that you care, but that you are accepting of a lifestyle that is heavily misunderstood and disrespected. You will likely be asked to use "he" or "she" but some people prefer gender neutral pronouns like "ze". Another situation where the issue of pronouns may arise is with drag queens and cross dressers. Men, gay or straight, who live as men but moonlight as women (either as performers, fetishists or simply out of curiosity) are not transpeople. Same as women who live as females but dress up like men; However, when a crossdresser is in character - more often than not, they would prefer to be referred to as however they are portraying themselves. ie: a man wearing lipstick and a dress would probably prefer to be called she, and a woman wearing a pants suit and moustache would probably like to be called he. One last thing - You may need to know someone's gender status so you know how to address them, but their sexual orientation is none of your business - and that goes for everyone.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Sex Toys are so Metal
Sorry for the lack of posts this past year or so, I've been extremely busy between Rockalily, Upfront, YWTF and all the other little projects. The 2nd annual No Pants Dance Party was a success! Thanks to Hush Money and The New Impressions of 2 FANS for warming up the crowd. We raised almost $100 for each the AIDS Committee of Ottawa and the Ottawa Humane Society! Thanks for all your support, Ottawa! And a super-big thanks to everyone who comes in from out of town to see our shows. Rockalily loves you all!
Today I thought of a tidbit about metal toys that I thought I should pass on.
Although they are a little pricey, steel, aluminum and titanium sex toys make a great addition to your naughty drawer. Like glass toys they are non-porous, easy to clean and can easily be heated or cooled to your liking. Unlike glass, they are unbreakable!
Titanium is going to be the most expensive, but is the lightest of the three metals.
Aluminum is your middle ground. A good metal, not too heavy but enough weight that you feel it.
Steel is very heavy - of the three metals most commonly used in sex toys this is the one that is most likely to cause damage. Extra care should be taken when using steel toys, especially butt plugs, as the weight is being held by your sphincter - something you do NOT want to damage.
Just something to keep in mind when shopping for metal toys!
Today I thought of a tidbit about metal toys that I thought I should pass on.
Although they are a little pricey, steel, aluminum and titanium sex toys make a great addition to your naughty drawer. Like glass toys they are non-porous, easy to clean and can easily be heated or cooled to your liking. Unlike glass, they are unbreakable!
Titanium is going to be the most expensive, but is the lightest of the three metals.
Aluminum is your middle ground. A good metal, not too heavy but enough weight that you feel it.
Steel is very heavy - of the three metals most commonly used in sex toys this is the one that is most likely to cause damage. Extra care should be taken when using steel toys, especially butt plugs, as the weight is being held by your sphincter - something you do NOT want to damage.
Just something to keep in mind when shopping for metal toys!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Sometimes I write just for the hell of it.
Atop the fence she sat; A temporary feeling of invincibility running through her veins. The outdoor speakers from the dive bar blasting a familiar song. She takes a draw off of her cigarette in between breathlessly muttered lyrics. A quick scan of her surroundings brought her to the realization that she was not the only one singing along under her breath. Is this what they call a "moment"?
She considered throwing herself backwards off of the fence. Just high enough to hurt, not high enough to injure. Maybe her skull would crack if she pushed off with enough force. Maybe they would need to call an ambulance. Maybe someone would notice her, for once.
"I feel so alone right now" She thought to herself, snapping out of whatever daze she was in.
Her friends, assuming she could call them that, were still singing along to the soundtrack of the night. A cold tear streamed down her cheek, or was it raining? She couldn't tell sometimes. One of her friends offered to fill her glass back up.
Countless beers and innumerable morbid thoughts later she decided it best to leave her car in the parking lot and stay the night at a friend's place down the street.
A group of them arrived in the shared townhouse. The one with red walls that extracted the deepest, darkest feelings out of those who stood between them.
It was raining again, inside, selectively located on her face. Or was she crying? Upset about what was being left behind. Damn those red walls.
Everyone else had retired to bed, to fuck their lover, to sleep the drunk off, to create something beautiful that may never be understood; Everyone except him. He sat with her while she cried, he held her and told her she was beautiful. He asked her to get another beer out of the fridge for them to share.
While reaching in to the fridge he crept up from behind and pulled her panties down from underneath her dress. The blue and red panties that were her favourite. The ones that, up until this night, she had considered lucky.
It's okay, she thought. They were friends, he was drunk. "It's okay", she told herself over and over again.
Maybe someday she'll convince herself.
She considered throwing herself backwards off of the fence. Just high enough to hurt, not high enough to injure. Maybe her skull would crack if she pushed off with enough force. Maybe they would need to call an ambulance. Maybe someone would notice her, for once.
"I feel so alone right now" She thought to herself, snapping out of whatever daze she was in.
Her friends, assuming she could call them that, were still singing along to the soundtrack of the night. A cold tear streamed down her cheek, or was it raining? She couldn't tell sometimes. One of her friends offered to fill her glass back up.
Countless beers and innumerable morbid thoughts later she decided it best to leave her car in the parking lot and stay the night at a friend's place down the street.
A group of them arrived in the shared townhouse. The one with red walls that extracted the deepest, darkest feelings out of those who stood between them.
It was raining again, inside, selectively located on her face. Or was she crying? Upset about what was being left behind. Damn those red walls.
Everyone else had retired to bed, to fuck their lover, to sleep the drunk off, to create something beautiful that may never be understood; Everyone except him. He sat with her while she cried, he held her and told her she was beautiful. He asked her to get another beer out of the fridge for them to share.
While reaching in to the fridge he crept up from behind and pulled her panties down from underneath her dress. The blue and red panties that were her favourite. The ones that, up until this night, she had considered lucky.
It's okay, she thought. They were friends, he was drunk. "It's okay", she told herself over and over again.
Maybe someday she'll convince herself.
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