Thursday, June 5, 2008
Ottawa Police Mistreat and Disregard Rape Victim
The incident occurred just over 5 years ago and the victim is still fighting for her rights to this day.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Ch-ch-ch-check Check it out.
I have a friend.
His name is Jason.
You may have heard of him.
He entertains as "The Nads".
Like him or not, he's got some intelligent things to say.
http://jasonsetnyk.blogspot.com/
If enough of you go read his counter-cultural ramblings maybe he'll even update.
He and I have similar opinions - although I find it stresses me out to write about politics and current events; so I don't.
His name is Jason.
You may have heard of him.
He entertains as "The Nads".
Like him or not, he's got some intelligent things to say.
http://jasonsetnyk.blogspot.com/
If enough of you go read his counter-cultural ramblings maybe he'll even update.
He and I have similar opinions - although I find it stresses me out to write about politics and current events; so I don't.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Sexual Assault
As originally published in Upfront Magazine issue #20
The door of the industrial sized walk-in freezer closed behind his massive body, I was trapped between 3 walls of frozen food and him, blocking my only exit. He cornered me, started touching my nipples that were hard from the cold freezer air. "I just want a kiss. You're beautiful, please just a kiss" he said. I was 16 and scared. I may not have been a virgin but I was definitely a spring chicken. I had a friend with me. She was 20 at the time and while I was trapped in the freezer she was out in the back of the pizza shop with the other worker. I don't know what she was doing, I never asked. All I know is that she neglected my screams.
He was wearing his white cooks outfit and there was flour smudged on his cheek. While he rubbed his hands all over my unwilling body all I could think about was how unsanitary the food must be. By the time he had his tiny hard penis inside of my cold nubile body I was feigning enthusiasm. I figured that if he thought I liked it he wouldn't hurt me. I remember him laughing and saying "I finish" and finally letting me get to the door. I stole his pack of cigarettes while he wasn't looking as some sort of consolation and ran out of there, my friend behind me. I couldn't believe it; she was saying "Thank you"! I later learned that she had gained an 8ball out of what happened that evening, I never found out if I was part of that deal. It was a few years before I would admit to anyone that I had been raped that evening. Other local girls who knew the place had asked if the men tried to touch me. I admitted that much. It had turned out these men were reputed drug dealers operating out of a suburban pizza shop; they were known, at least by the local teenage girl populous, for molesting and raping underage girls who went in looking to score a bag of pot.
Knowing that I was not the only one, I decided that something must be done. I went to the local police station and reported that they touched me, that they touched other young girls and that they were selling drugs. I did not give the police my name, I was afraid of what would happen if my Catholic parents found out.
It was at least another 2 years before Castle Pizza, in Kanata, was shut down.
I wanted to credit that story as anonymous, but I didn't feel right doing so. It happened to me, Raw Knee, your protagonist (It's my column and I'm the protagonist if I say I am!). To say that ending sexual assault and violence against women are causes close to my heart is an understatement. I try to take every opportunity to advocate these causes. Please don't misunderstand the point. I don't want your pity. I want you to be aware that this happens here in our home town. Just because we don't hear about it doesn't mean that it doesn't occur! I want you to understand that being assaulted is not the end of the world. It takes time to heal and trust may not come as easily - but it can be overcome if you try! The resources available in Ottawa are abundant and comprehensive. If you or anyone you know has suffered sexual abuse please check out The Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre: www.orcc.net / 613-562-2333 and The Sexual Assault Support Centre of Ottawa: www.sascottawa.org / 613-234-2266 Or go straight to the police.
One of the best ways to decrease sexual assault is to raise awareness and dispel myths.
Fear of being deported and fear of the police often keep immigrant and refugee women from reporting domestic abuse.
Only 1 in 10 sexual assaults is reported to the police. Of those that are acquaintance rapes, only 1 in 100 is reported to the police.
98% of sexual attackers are men.
39% of convicted sexual offenders receive probation as their harshest sentence.
86% of runaway girls and 50% of runaway boys have experienced sexual abuse.
80% of First Nations women have been assaulted or abused.
89% of sexual assault victims/survivors have no visible physical injuries.
3% of reported sexual assault victims are men over 17.
Ottawa-Carleton has the highest rate of reported sexual offenses in the province, at 280 per 10,000 people.
Read that last one again. That's right... Ottawa-Carleton.
On August 31st 2007 a 23-year old woman was brutally raped in a [supposedly] secure Carleton University lab building. She suffered a broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and undeniably, emotional damage. This story made the news because of it's brutality but quickly slipped under the radar upon her recovery. It was reported that this young woman denied the rape; because her faith, Islam, does not differentiate rape from willing acts of pre/extramerital sex and are punished as the same when it comes time for judgement.
When the attack was denied the search for the perpetrator was halted. Even if found, the assailant would not be charged. This man is still roaming around (presumably in Ottawa) quite possibly ready to attack again.
Although I feel for the young woman, and understand that her strong faith is her priority; I can't stress enough the importance of reporting sexual assault.
The only way to put an end to sexual assault and violence against women is not to tolerate it. Violence against any human for any reason is intolerable. Being raped is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Female OR male. Protect yourself, protect those around you, pledge never to willfully cause harm to others; And the biggest piece of unsolicited advice I will ever offer is this: If someone you know claims to have been sexually assaulted -Believe them! Take them seriously! Do not give them advice! Let them make their own decisions and support them in doing so. Your personal opinion is useless - they need someone to listen and be supportive, so shut your yap and hear them out.
The door of the industrial sized walk-in freezer closed behind his massive body, I was trapped between 3 walls of frozen food and him, blocking my only exit. He cornered me, started touching my nipples that were hard from the cold freezer air. "I just want a kiss. You're beautiful, please just a kiss" he said. I was 16 and scared. I may not have been a virgin but I was definitely a spring chicken. I had a friend with me. She was 20 at the time and while I was trapped in the freezer she was out in the back of the pizza shop with the other worker. I don't know what she was doing, I never asked. All I know is that she neglected my screams.
He was wearing his white cooks outfit and there was flour smudged on his cheek. While he rubbed his hands all over my unwilling body all I could think about was how unsanitary the food must be. By the time he had his tiny hard penis inside of my cold nubile body I was feigning enthusiasm. I figured that if he thought I liked it he wouldn't hurt me. I remember him laughing and saying "I finish" and finally letting me get to the door. I stole his pack of cigarettes while he wasn't looking as some sort of consolation and ran out of there, my friend behind me. I couldn't believe it; she was saying "Thank you"! I later learned that she had gained an 8ball out of what happened that evening, I never found out if I was part of that deal. It was a few years before I would admit to anyone that I had been raped that evening. Other local girls who knew the place had asked if the men tried to touch me. I admitted that much. It had turned out these men were reputed drug dealers operating out of a suburban pizza shop; they were known, at least by the local teenage girl populous, for molesting and raping underage girls who went in looking to score a bag of pot.
Knowing that I was not the only one, I decided that something must be done. I went to the local police station and reported that they touched me, that they touched other young girls and that they were selling drugs. I did not give the police my name, I was afraid of what would happen if my Catholic parents found out.
It was at least another 2 years before Castle Pizza, in Kanata, was shut down.
I wanted to credit that story as anonymous, but I didn't feel right doing so. It happened to me, Raw Knee, your protagonist (It's my column and I'm the protagonist if I say I am!). To say that ending sexual assault and violence against women are causes close to my heart is an understatement. I try to take every opportunity to advocate these causes. Please don't misunderstand the point. I don't want your pity. I want you to be aware that this happens here in our home town. Just because we don't hear about it doesn't mean that it doesn't occur! I want you to understand that being assaulted is not the end of the world. It takes time to heal and trust may not come as easily - but it can be overcome if you try! The resources available in Ottawa are abundant and comprehensive. If you or anyone you know has suffered sexual abuse please check out The Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre: www.orcc.net / 613-562-2333 and The Sexual Assault Support Centre of Ottawa: www.sascottawa.org / 613-234-2266 Or go straight to the police.
One of the best ways to decrease sexual assault is to raise awareness and dispel myths.
Fear of being deported and fear of the police often keep immigrant and refugee women from reporting domestic abuse.
Only 1 in 10 sexual assaults is reported to the police. Of those that are acquaintance rapes, only 1 in 100 is reported to the police.
98% of sexual attackers are men.
39% of convicted sexual offenders receive probation as their harshest sentence.
86% of runaway girls and 50% of runaway boys have experienced sexual abuse.
80% of First Nations women have been assaulted or abused.
89% of sexual assault victims/survivors have no visible physical injuries.
3% of reported sexual assault victims are men over 17.
Ottawa-Carleton has the highest rate of reported sexual offenses in the province, at 280 per 10,000 people.
Read that last one again. That's right... Ottawa-Carleton.
On August 31st 2007 a 23-year old woman was brutally raped in a [supposedly] secure Carleton University lab building. She suffered a broken jaw, dislocated shoulder and undeniably, emotional damage. This story made the news because of it's brutality but quickly slipped under the radar upon her recovery. It was reported that this young woman denied the rape; because her faith, Islam, does not differentiate rape from willing acts of pre/extramerital sex and are punished as the same when it comes time for judgement.
When the attack was denied the search for the perpetrator was halted. Even if found, the assailant would not be charged. This man is still roaming around (presumably in Ottawa) quite possibly ready to attack again.
Although I feel for the young woman, and understand that her strong faith is her priority; I can't stress enough the importance of reporting sexual assault.
The only way to put an end to sexual assault and violence against women is not to tolerate it. Violence against any human for any reason is intolerable. Being raped is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Female OR male. Protect yourself, protect those around you, pledge never to willfully cause harm to others; And the biggest piece of unsolicited advice I will ever offer is this: If someone you know claims to have been sexually assaulted -Believe them! Take them seriously! Do not give them advice! Let them make their own decisions and support them in doing so. Your personal opinion is useless - they need someone to listen and be supportive, so shut your yap and hear them out.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
"Never Gonna Drink Again"
Last night my friend, Anglea, threw a housewarming party for herself. It was an all-around good time. Early in the party I ran into an acquaintance of mine named Ed. He snuck up behind me while I was having a cigarette next to the window and said "Hey, Sex Columnist!". I guess he forgot my name. He spent the rest of the night trying to engage other men in conversations that were probably pre-determined and rehearsed (by Ed) to make himself come across as superior and intelligent, and trying to impress each of the women with his intellect and confidence. The problem is: what he tries to exude as confidence just comes across conceit and a superiority complex. I'm not usually one to talk shit on the internet - but every time I run into this guy he either says something really offensive to me without realizing it or he tries way too hard to impress me. All I get from him is 'CONCEITED'. I had a feeling that his attempts to impress me, personally, are for the point of seeing his name in print. Last eve, at the party, upon my departure, he said something totally forgettable - I just remember him smirking and saying "Put that in your column", like he was so fucking clever. So here, Ed. I'm writing about you.
After Angela's party my new pal, Julie, and I managed to catch the last bus from (undisclosed area) to downtown. She stayed on the bus to go home and I got off at the end of my street. I made it 2 or 3 blocks before going into one of my regular watering holes for one last pint.
The bartender and the cocktail waitress are two people that I would consider very good friends of mine. I've been friends with the latter of the two since I was 15 and she was 16. I ended up drinking my pint (slowly) and watching the last of the patrons clear out. They locked the doors and we did a shooter and each had one more beer before heading back to my place where a bottle of wine, a bottle of Jack and endless porno awaited.
After a few shots of whiskey and a glass of wine, the Cocktail Waitress, who we'll call Betty, passed out in my bed; leaving Bartender, who we'll call Ralph, and I to chat and drink into the morning light. So that's what we did. Perhaps it was the booze, perhaps it was the relationship we've built with each other over the last year and a half, perhaps he just needed someone to talk to and I was the right person by profession; Ralph opened up to me and I got to discuss candidly how this particular divorced, male, 40-something, bartender feels about the opposite sex and his interactions with.
Ralph (obviously not his real name) kept giving me permission to write about our conversation. Unlike Ed (definitely his real name), Ralph isn't looking to see his name in print (or blog, as it is). Ralph is a good friend who enjoys my company and my writing. He's offering up his insights for my own gain - not his.
Ralph and I drank and talked until about 6:15 am. He wasn't looking for advice - just wanted to chat and I enjoyed myself
greatly. He seemed a little discontent. given the subject matter of the conversation, I would be too. I hope I cheered him up a bit, just by listening.
He did ask me one question though, just one. I'd like to share it.
Ralph: What can a man do to make a woman feel good?
Veronica: Aww, you know I can't tell you that for sure. Everyone's different. I know that every woman loves to be told that they are attractive. Just reassure her that she's beautiful and that you're lucky to have her.
I just love a man who is determined to make a lady feel good. Even as just a friend, I feel good around him.
Some guys just know how to treat a gal.
So needless to say, after last night, I'm a bit of a train wreck. I've been sleeping on and off all day, trying to rid myself of this "skull too small for my brain" feeling. I would hate for my entire day to be a writeoff - at least I can say I accomplished one blog entry.
I promise, no more personal stuff for at least another month ;-)
xoxo
Raw Knee
After Angela's party my new pal, Julie, and I managed to catch the last bus from (undisclosed area) to downtown. She stayed on the bus to go home and I got off at the end of my street. I made it 2 or 3 blocks before going into one of my regular watering holes for one last pint.
The bartender and the cocktail waitress are two people that I would consider very good friends of mine. I've been friends with the latter of the two since I was 15 and she was 16. I ended up drinking my pint (slowly) and watching the last of the patrons clear out. They locked the doors and we did a shooter and each had one more beer before heading back to my place where a bottle of wine, a bottle of Jack and endless porno awaited.
After a few shots of whiskey and a glass of wine, the Cocktail Waitress, who we'll call Betty, passed out in my bed; leaving Bartender, who we'll call Ralph, and I to chat and drink into the morning light. So that's what we did. Perhaps it was the booze, perhaps it was the relationship we've built with each other over the last year and a half, perhaps he just needed someone to talk to and I was the right person by profession; Ralph opened up to me and I got to discuss candidly how this particular divorced, male, 40-something, bartender feels about the opposite sex and his interactions with.
Ralph (obviously not his real name) kept giving me permission to write about our conversation. Unlike Ed (definitely his real name), Ralph isn't looking to see his name in print (or blog, as it is). Ralph is a good friend who enjoys my company and my writing. He's offering up his insights for my own gain - not his.
Ralph and I drank and talked until about 6:15 am. He wasn't looking for advice - just wanted to chat and I enjoyed myself
greatly. He seemed a little discontent. given the subject matter of the conversation, I would be too. I hope I cheered him up a bit, just by listening.
He did ask me one question though, just one. I'd like to share it.
Ralph: What can a man do to make a woman feel good?
Veronica: Aww, you know I can't tell you that for sure. Everyone's different. I know that every woman loves to be told that they are attractive. Just reassure her that she's beautiful and that you're lucky to have her.
I just love a man who is determined to make a lady feel good. Even as just a friend, I feel good around him.
Some guys just know how to treat a gal.
So needless to say, after last night, I'm a bit of a train wreck. I've been sleeping on and off all day, trying to rid myself of this "skull too small for my brain" feeling. I would hate for my entire day to be a writeoff - at least I can say I accomplished one blog entry.
I promise, no more personal stuff for at least another month ;-)
xoxo
Raw Knee
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Beat Your Meat While We Beat The Heat
It seems to me that every summer women around town can be seen in less and less clothing. It's only April and I've already seen a good number of leg-and-tit parades around Centretown. Hell, I'm even guilty of it! I've even seen pubescent (and often prepubescent) girls out in public with what little they have to show hanging out. Since the advent of "Girl Power" pop music and the over-sexed images that accompanied it in the mid 90's, scantily clad youngsters have been as common a sight as dandelions on a suburban lawn. Women of all ages are partaking in this strange summer ritual of aesthetic sluttery. The question is: Are we trying to beat the heat, or capitalizing on our sexuality, using it to gain attention and power?
We could attribute the steady decline in the amount of textiles required to bridge the gap between summer clothes and underwear to the fact that each summer gets hotter and hotter, but I think that would be little more than a scapegoat to avoid admitting that we women love attention.
Why are women so scantily clad? It would seem that the progression of feminism has taken a turn. I won't say a turn for the worse. The sexually exploitive woman is a relatively new idea. One that has not been perfected, but one that could be very progressive ix executed properly. My main worry is that young women are exploiting themselves (their sexuality, their body and their knowledge) with no particular goal other than to look as good as possible; to look better than the girl next to you.
What many modern women consider empowering is what our mothers and grandmothers fought to abolish. In recent history, stares and catcalls were considered oppressive. Now, they are not only welcome, but enticed. To be a woman lusted after is to be a women empowered.
Here's a question that needs answering: Have men come to expect this? Do the straight men of the world expect constant visual stimulation? Has it gotten to the point that sexual imagery is so abundant that an attractive young women will slip under the radar is she's not dressed to fuck at all times? Not being male, I can not definitively answer this - but I would absolutely love to discuss it further.
I'll be soliciting interviews with some young to middle aged men in the near future, as I am extremely curious as to where they stand on the matter of the less-is-more fashion trend. I'm also be very interested in the lesbian perspective. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you wish to contribute your opinion, debate the issue or even discredit what I've said.
Keep your eyes peeled for a follow-up article.
Yours in short-shorts and a tank top,
Raw Knee
We could attribute the steady decline in the amount of textiles required to bridge the gap between summer clothes and underwear to the fact that each summer gets hotter and hotter, but I think that would be little more than a scapegoat to avoid admitting that we women love attention.
Why are women so scantily clad? It would seem that the progression of feminism has taken a turn. I won't say a turn for the worse. The sexually exploitive woman is a relatively new idea. One that has not been perfected, but one that could be very progressive ix executed properly. My main worry is that young women are exploiting themselves (their sexuality, their body and their knowledge) with no particular goal other than to look as good as possible; to look better than the girl next to you.
What many modern women consider empowering is what our mothers and grandmothers fought to abolish. In recent history, stares and catcalls were considered oppressive. Now, they are not only welcome, but enticed. To be a woman lusted after is to be a women empowered.
Here's a question that needs answering: Have men come to expect this? Do the straight men of the world expect constant visual stimulation? Has it gotten to the point that sexual imagery is so abundant that an attractive young women will slip under the radar is she's not dressed to fuck at all times? Not being male, I can not definitively answer this - but I would absolutely love to discuss it further.
I'll be soliciting interviews with some young to middle aged men in the near future, as I am extremely curious as to where they stand on the matter of the less-is-more fashion trend. I'm also be very interested in the lesbian perspective. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you wish to contribute your opinion, debate the issue or even discredit what I've said.
Keep your eyes peeled for a follow-up article.
Yours in short-shorts and a tank top,
Raw Knee
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